If you’ve been wondering how to save a relationship, below are 7 simple steps you can take to accomplish this, but first a little story. Sean and Lizzy both work hard. Sean works long hours at the office, and Lizzy spends her time tending to the children. Sean doesn’t feel she has time for him, and Lizzy thinks Sean doesn’t have time for her. Can their relationship be saved? Should it be saved?

Before a relationship can be saved, you have to decide if it’s worth saving. Most can be saved if both parties involved decide to put in the hard work sometimes required. If, however, one of the people involved isn’t dedicated to saving it, there isn’t much you can do.

There are plenty of people you pass on the streets every day who stay in relationships because they are convenient, or stay with the marriage because of the kids, but that’s just not enough. The key to how to save a relationship is that both parties have to mutually decide that it is worth saving.

The next thing to do is zone in on the problem or problems in the relationships. One of the biggest issues faced with how to save a relationship is that people come to the conclusion that symptoms are actually problems. This is a common mistake, don’t make it. Focus on the actual problems.

One example is an affair. Many people think this is a problem that causes break ups, but in truth, an affair is actually a symptom of a larger problem. A lack of real intimacy can lead to an extramarital affair. Most people would look at the situation and think the affair was the problem that caused the break up, but in reality, it was the lack of true intimacy that was the real cause, the affair was the symptom. If you don’t address the lack of intimacy, you might be able to use guilt to stop another affair, but most likely another problem (like pornography addiction) may arise because you have dealt with the core of the real problem.

Your relationship can only be saved when you strip down the symptoms and start to deal with the core issues.

After the real problems have been realized, you have to sit down with your partner and have a conversation. Speak what’s on your mind and listen to them while they verbalize their feelings. Hold your partners hand while you listen to show that even if you’re emotional, you want to reconnect. If your partner brings up something that hurts you, remember that it’s not an attempt to hurt you but an attempt to show that they want to improve your relationship.

For example, if your problem is that you don’t spend time together like you used to, take a weekend getaway or set up a date night each week. Even if the date night is Wednesday, you’re spending time together. Then, you and your partner can take turns thinking up fun and exciting ways to spend your date night.

If the problem facing your relationship is that you don’t communicate with each other enough, plan out 20 minutes before bed where it is just the two of you. Turn off the TV, computer, and silence your phone. Just take some time and talk, just the two of you. Don’t just schedule it, do it.

And Finally, you must realize that saving a relationship is a process. Often you will go two steps ahead and take one step back. There will be pain and joy as you move along. Just remember to be quick to apologize and slow to place blame.

Is the relationship your struggling with worth saving? I hope it is, and if you think so, follow the advice given in this article and be committed to it.

Learn more about how you can How To Save Your Relationship. Stop by Paul ‘PJ’ Jackson’s site where you can find out if it’s possible to Save Your Relationship or if it is completely over.

This video explains my own opinion on why getting back with an ex boyfriend or ex girlfriend isn’t such a great idea. Your thoughts: bittersweetrelations.wordpress.com

OK we have all experienced that fantastic date and the promise – “I’ll call” – that never happens. You may sit and try to figure what you did wrong, or did he really say he would call. Other things such as game playing, tricks, and various four letter words to describe him float through your mind. Many times this several day wait will turn into frustration and then rejection – your rejection of him, and his of you. All this when nothing has even happened.

There can be various reasons why men don’t call when they say they will. It can sometimes be as simple as being too busy at work, the extreme forgetfulness or in the worst case an intentional plan. Whatever the reasons, for a woman the whole situation can be quite unnerving and disastrous. Under extreme circumstances, the entire state of affairs can be very sad and even lead to breakups.

Today, some men may not have the social skills that you may consider normal. While they may have valid reasons for not calling after saying they will, they are unaware of the misunderstandings and misconceptions that can develop by not doing so. A simple nudge from a common friend may be enough to get a brief call to explain the situation that he may be uncomfortable explaining, and thereby relieving you of hurt feelings and several days of second guessing of what, if anything, you may have done wrong.

However, most of the times, the major reason for this negligence is to monitor your reaction over the whole episode. Men, as a species are too sensitive and want to know their position in your life. As such, they want to find out the status of their relationship through your reaction to his actions. If you actually overreact and shower him with a whole lot of blames, he will get assured that you actually give that much of importance to him in your life. This, nevertheless, can also make him quite calm and poise as he believes that you are too much involved with him. As a result, this will make him even more relaxed and he might also reduce his calls further.

Women too can play the game. You first need to determine the real importance to you of his call. If it was a first or second date that should be fairly easy. Later in a relationship is is easier to have hurt feelings. If a call was not made after a reasonable time – say several days – and then you receive one you may want to use voice mail as a buffer. Let the call be answered and don’t return it for a couple of days yourself. At that point if you get his voice mail – no problem – just say things are hectic and give him a time to call you back. This agin is only for early relationships. If his behavior persists and after several dates he does not call regularly, it is best to move on and not waste your time. This type of man can be a constant headache.

Julissa de Mayo is the principal and primary writer for the Soulmate Blog. The Blog is an open website to write, read, and discuss relationship issues with knowledgeable people and others who may have lived through s similar problem. The Soulmate Blog is no-charge and open 24 hours a day 7 days a week for your access.

It is inevitable. In a relationship, there will always be clashes. After all, we’re only human. Even when you are crazy, head over heels in love, there are times when you feel like you’re just at each other’s throats. And fights will happen. But, you can do some simple things to keep things from piling up and coming into a head.

The first step is to sit down and talk about common points of disagreements. The usual sources of quarrels would be money, house chores, sex and a lack of communication. When both of the partners have discussed these matters, it would be easy to refer back to what you both have agreed upon when things get heated up. It’s really difficult to think in a logical manner when you are angry.

Now, let’s discuss a few things you can do to prevent relationship problems from getting worse:

Talk, talk, talk. Communication is key. Don’t assume that your partner is a mind reader. He or she is not. That’s why it’s important to share your thoughts so that there will be no need to guess. It’s best to set a “date” when you can really talk. Beforehand, a few ground rules should be established. Avoid taking on a blaming tone or interrupting your partner.

Make time for some lovin’. The sexual aspect of your relationship should never be taken for granted, no matter how busy you are. Again, set a date for this – you will find your excitement and anticipation building up as your “date” draws near. Of course, you should also be open to spur-of-the-moment things. The main thing is that you enjoy each other.

Agree about Finances. Work out a budget together – include savings. Discuss how monthly bills are to be settled. Give each other “space” – there should be a certain amount that each one can spend at his or her discretion. Be honest with each other about your debt and income. Agree about short-term and long-term goals for the family.

Household chores assignments. Each partner should have a specific set of responsibilities around the house. As much as possible, these responsibilities should be evenly divided (to be fair) so that no resentment can crop up.

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