If you’ve been wondering how to save a relationship, below are 7 simple steps you can take to accomplish this, but first a little story. Sean and Lizzy both work hard. Sean works long hours at the office, and Lizzy spends her time tending to the children. Sean doesn’t feel she has time for him, and Lizzy thinks Sean doesn’t have time for her. Can their relationship be saved? Should it be saved?
Before a relationship can be saved, you have to decide if it’s worth saving. Most can be saved if both parties involved decide to put in the hard work sometimes required. If, however, one of the people involved isn’t dedicated to saving it, there isn’t much you can do.
There are plenty of people you pass on the streets every day who stay in relationships because they are convenient, or stay with the marriage because of the kids, but that’s just not enough. The key to how to save a relationship is that both parties have to mutually decide that it is worth saving.
The next thing to do is zone in on the problem or problems in the relationships. One of the biggest issues faced with how to save a relationship is that people come to the conclusion that symptoms are actually problems. This is a common mistake, don’t make it. Focus on the actual problems.
One example is an affair. Many people think this is a problem that causes break ups, but in truth, an affair is actually a symptom of a larger problem. A lack of real intimacy can lead to an extramarital affair. Most people would look at the situation and think the affair was the problem that caused the break up, but in reality, it was the lack of true intimacy that was the real cause, the affair was the symptom. If you don’t address the lack of intimacy, you might be able to use guilt to stop another affair, but most likely another problem (like pornography addiction) may arise because you have dealt with the core of the real problem.
Your relationship can only be saved when you strip down the symptoms and start to deal with the core issues.
After the real problems have been realized, you have to sit down with your partner and have a conversation. Speak what’s on your mind and listen to them while they verbalize their feelings. Hold your partners hand while you listen to show that even if you’re emotional, you want to reconnect. If your partner brings up something that hurts you, remember that it’s not an attempt to hurt you but an attempt to show that they want to improve your relationship.
For example, if your problem is that you don’t spend time together like you used to, take a weekend getaway or set up a date night each week. Even if the date night is Wednesday, you’re spending time together. Then, you and your partner can take turns thinking up fun and exciting ways to spend your date night.
If the problem facing your relationship is that you don’t communicate with each other enough, plan out 20 minutes before bed where it is just the two of you. Turn off the TV, computer, and silence your phone. Just take some time and talk, just the two of you. Don’t just schedule it, do it.
And Finally, you must realize that saving a relationship is a process. Often you will go two steps ahead and take one step back. There will be pain and joy as you move along. Just remember to be quick to apologize and slow to place blame.
Is the relationship your struggling with worth saving? I hope it is, and if you think so, follow the advice given in this article and be committed to it.
Learn more about how you can How To Save Your Relationship. Stop by Paul ‘PJ’ Jackson’s site where you can find out if it’s possible to Save Your Relationship or if it is completely over.
Produced, directed, written by, and featuring Juliette Tang. Shot and edited by Jason Fairbrother. Also featuring Charmaine Olivia. Music by Abe Lyman, public domain.
